Honor

Definition: to regard or treat (someone) with admiration and respect*

Approximate Number of Occurrences in Scripture (220)

Read: 2Samuel chapter 9 for full context of this account

2 Samuel 9:7 (NIV) "Don't be afraid," David said to him, "for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table."

That Was Then

In addition to being one of the most beautiful accounts in scripture, this chapter reveals one of the best facets of King David’s character. Some twenty years had passed when David remembered a vow he made to his best friend Jonathan, who protected him from his father King Saul when he was trying to kill him (see 1 Samuel 20:12-17). The chapter starts with David asking “Is there anyone still left in the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?”

This question seems odd, but it was customary for a king to kill all living descendants of the previous dynasty to safeguard against disgruntled heirs seeking revenge. When Saul and Jonathan died in the same battle, there was a baby boy who was hidden from David. His name was Mephibosheth and he was Jonathan’s son. Mephibosheth was crippled in both feet because his nurse was trying to flee with him and he fell. He was hidden in an obscure town called Lo DeBar, where he lived up until this point (see 2Samuel 4:4).

Imagine Mephibosheth’s fear when summoned by David, his grandfather’s sworn enemy and the very one who shouldn’t know that he exists. But David honored him in a number of ways:

• he told Mephibosheth do not be afraid and immediately put him at ease (vs. 7);

• he gave him all of the property of his grandfather Saul as his inheritance (vs. 7);

• he assigned Saul’s former servant, Ziba and his sons to farm the land and bring in the crops for Mephibosheth, greatly increasing his net worth (vs. 9-10);

• he assigned him a seat at the king’s table with his sons and treated him as a member of his own family (vs 11);

• he never mentioned Mephibosheth’s disability or treated him as inferior.

Wow, what a class act! David could have given him a medal or some other token gesture of kindness, but he honored Mephibosheth to the fullest extent possible. He completely restored everything that belonged to him as the sole heir to Saul’s throne. When Mephibosheth responded by saying “What is your servant that you should notice a dead dog like me?” David gave no reply because he didn’t see him as a dog, he saw him as a son. David did more than merely honor a long-awaited promise, he honored his predecessor Saul, his beloved friend’s memory and Mephibosheth, someone who would have otherwise spent the rest of his lonely life in poverty and disregarded obscurity.

This is Now

In every society, there is no demographic more worthy of honor and respect than our elders. They paved the way for us – having lived and endured much of the history that we merely read about. The rights and privileges we enjoy today are a result of the injustices and limitations they confronted yesterday. Many of our experiences and opportunities came about by their sacrifices. We’ll never know how many times they decided to say “no” to themselves just so they could say “yes” to us. And whether they were the best or the worst, they did the best they could under the circumstances (which in some cases, we’ll never know what really happened).

We live in a world where growing old is a dreaded predicament rather than a celebrated right-of-passage. There’s no honor in it. Aging is associated with loneliness, failing health, competency retardation and irrelevance. In some cases, the elderly are regarded in the same way one would treat people plagued by an infectious disease – quarantine them in senior communities and nursing homes. Ageism is starting earlier and is flagrant throughout society in spaces like the workplace, media, sports, and even the church. The trappings of youth and vitality can deceive us into being self-focused and distracted by our personal agendas (career, marriage, kids, financial status, recreation and day-to-day responsibilities). Oftentimes, it’s not until our own vigor starts waning or the loss of an aged loved one forces a paradigm shift. Admittedly, it wasn’t until I noticed all of my mother’s close friends dying that her interests, desires and quality of life became my top priority.

Honoring our elders is not difficult and requires no more effort or skill than honoring anyone. We just have to deliberately decide to place their needs above ours. A simple phone call or visit could make a person’s entire week. Asking at least one of the following questions can catapult any relationship to new levels: How can I honor you and make you feel special? How can I say thank you? or How can I serve you? I am thrilled to see the rise of a wish granting movement (similar to Make-A-Wish Foundation) dedicated to making seniors’ dreams come true. Foundations like Wish of a Lifetime, Twilight Wish and Bucket List are asking seniors nationwide these very questions. Although many people have been honored with exciting surprises ranging from Cessna flights and hot air balloon rides to military ceremonies; the desire mostly expressed is reuniting with estranged family members and friends.

In 2010, I participated with a number of wonderful people to grant my mother’s wish. Although she had been a wife to two husbands, she had never been a bride. My mom was given the honor of planning a beautiful wedding, and at age 81 she married her love of 26 years before a crowd of over 100 guests.

Who Said That?!!!

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:10) – The Apostle Paul

What Do You Say?

AFFIRMATION: "I strive to treat everyone with the honor they deserve, realizing it starts with my speech."

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*www.merriam-webster.com