Yell

Dorma Guice
Sep 1, 2020
4 min read

Definition: to say (something) very loudly especially because you are angry, surprised, or are trying to get someone's attention. *

Approximate Number of Occurrences in Scripture (19)

Read: Mark 4:35-41 for full context of this account

Mark 4:38 (NLT) Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion. The disciples woke him up, shouting, “Teacher, don’t you care that we’re going to drown?”

That Was Then

If we’re being honest, we’d all have to admit that at one time or another we lost our composure in a way that made us wish we could get that moment back. In the disciples’ case, it happened to be when they (collectively) lost it with the LORD. This account occurs near the earlier part of Jesus’ ministry just after He called the twelve. Still, the disciples heard Him teach and saw Him do some pretty amazing things up to this point. But they’ve never faced anything like this…

One evening near the lake, after a long day of addressing a crowd so large Jesus taught them from a boat while they lined the shore, He said to His disciples “Let us go over to the other side” (vs.35). No doubt He was exhausted and seeking a place to decompress. Without warning or proper provisions, a furious squall came up and waves beat against the boat until it was nearly swamped. As this boat was manned by seasoned fishermen, they were not strangers to inclimate weather. However, this was a perfect storm, and the danger was clear and present. They worked frantically to remove the water and steady the boat, while Jesus was in the rear sleeping. Doing what grown men in the open lake facing a life-threatening storm would do – they freaked! Scripture doesn’t tell us who finally got the clarity to wake Jesus, but he was awakened (not by the boat sinking storm) but by twelve yelling, screaming, panic-stricken men accusing Him of not caring that they are all about to die. What happened next scared them more than the storm. Jesus simply got up, rebuked the wind and the waves, and it became completely calm. He then rebuked them for not having faith that they would make it through this.

How many of us have found ourselves in a scary and seemingly hopeless situation when we yelled accusations of negligence or carelessness at Jesus? Before you put on your pious I WOULD NEVER… face, let’s look at another account. In Luke 10:38-42, Jesus is a dinner guest of Mary and Martha. There is no storm or dire circumstance for that matter. But yelling “don’t you care…”, Martha barked the same accusation at Jesus as the disciples facing a life-threatening storm. Now let me ask you again. When that nerve-racking problem or unforeseen circumstance suddenly arises... when your spouse forgot to do that thing you asked five times before... or when overwhelming amounts of stress and pressure intersect with your child’s inappropriate behavior, do you tend to lose it? Does your tone elevate a few octaves? When you pray, are your prayers filled with faith, or do you accuse Jesus of not caring? The next time that happens, we should simply rebuke the storm, not the LORD of the storm.

This is Now

From the onset, I’ll concede that not all yelling is bad. Yelling, like a two-sided coin, can be both a stress reliever and a stress causer. The circumstances and choice of words can be the difference between a night of fun and a night of war. Take a look at the examples below and see if you can determine which is which:

A Couple Attending A Concert:

“WOW, I CAN’T BELIEVE THESE SEATS! OMG, THEY’RE PLAYING MY FAVORITE SONG! THANKS BABE, THIS IS THE BEST GIFT EVER! WOOHOOOOO!!!”

Same Couple After the Concert:

“WHUDDYA MEAN YOU CAN’T FIND THE DARNED CAR KEYS!!! I DON’T WANNA BE STUCK IN THIS GARAGE ALL NIGHT!!! AARGH!!! YOU’RE SOOOO IRRESPONSIBLE!!!”

In the first example, yelling was totally appropriate. The mood was upbeat and it felt good to let off some steam in a positive way. In this instance, the excitement is infectious as most people in the crowd surrendered to their urge to yell, scream and shout their appreciation for the band and their talent. And best yet, this positive energy united the crowd of strangers. However, in the second example, yelling is not the appropriate response. The choice of words immediately caused the mood to darken as the person being yelled at likely started feeling as if a full-frontal attack was launched on their intelligence, character and self-esteem. In this case, the excitement is also infectious as the temptation to yell back in retaliation was quite probable. Lastly, emotional separation likely resulted because the person yelling unwittingly created an environment that was no longer peaceful, safe or harmonious.

So we see when is as important as what in avoiding negative impacts caused by yelling. While yelling to get your child’s attention because they ran into the street is appropriate, yelling at them afterwards for running into the street just increases their trauma. Many studies conducted by psychotherapists and social workers proved that children respond differently to yelling than adults as children tend to take on responsibility for their parent’s anger – adults, not so much. One deceptive notion about yelling is ‘I’m not hitting them, so there can’t be any harm in it’. Any ill spoken words we use (yelled or otherwise) can have profound psychological, emotion and social impacts that extend far beyond the moment they were heard. Our internal fear, anxiety, stresses and extreme agitation is the true source of most, if not all temptation to yell (not the person or circumstance). Taking a few minutes to collect our thoughts and emotions before speaking goes a long way toward calming the proverbial storms we face daily.

Who Said That?!!!

“The volume of your voice does not increase the validity of your argument.” – Steve Maraboli

What Do You Say?

AFFIRMATION: "I am an emotionally intelligent person. I know when to express my passion and when to rein it in."

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